March Resolution... the struggle is real

As I was on the elliptical the other night I was having a fight with myself, you ever get those feelings that you are not good enough? Even though I am a mother of 3 having had 3 c-sections, that 3 months after having Levi I am allowing myself to be crippled because of 7 or 8 lbs. Because I don't have abs yet, because I am not chiseled and cannot fit into my clothes the way I used to. I do button my pants up but the fit is different, its not like I haven't brought life into this world and solely nursed him, that is not where my mind goes, it goes directly to you are a fat ass who has bull dog arms a jiggly middle and a wobbly butt. It goes to the dark circles under my eyes from lack of restful sleep. It goes to the condition of my hair since I have not seen a scissor or color since October. It goes to not feeling adequate enough being a Stay at home mom to 3 kids of various ages and needs, feeling the need to earn an income even though my dream for the last 3 years has been to stay home with the kids. My internal struggle to be fit without obsessing over it is hard.  It wasn't until after I spoke to an unbiased 3rd party and told him of my woes that I felt a smidgen better. He reminded me that I have a beautiful family and home and that raising kids is hard, that I have made my marriage work for 10 years, that we have no debt other than our mortgage, that I am right where I need to be to make my next move for myself to be happy. It's an odd feeling to recognize that perhaps I am adequate and my journey is right on path. I am going to struggle but I am not giving up the fight to get where I want to be. I was reading the Power Path and really liked the message for March and as a mini resolution I am vowing to edit and delete all the negative self talk I do on the daily and focus on the positive. Its really a hard thing to do sometimes but I am grateful for all I have and where I am so I want to be open to what is around the corner to surprise me once again.