Just Breathe

Today was one of those gut wrenching days. I had every emotion and then some, I cried a few times and smiled and then finally at 2:00 I breathed. A deep breath, for the first time in a month, since the ENT told me that Matthew had to have his tonsils removed.

I know this is a routine surgery and tons of people of have it done but if you don’t know, in August of last year we lost our precious Carly to the same, routine, surgery. So you can imagine the turmoil inside when the Dr told me what needed to occur. I knew it was coming, even to the untrained, uneducated eye you could see that the poor kids tonsils were taking up too much space in his mouth and he struggled to breath at night and was the recipient of many a runny nose and constant flow of saliva, as my brother can attest. (FiretrucksSSSs)

So, this morning we arrived bright and early to the hospital, Woody doll in tow, and when they called our named to go back to pre op my stomach dropped a little further. When they showed us the gown for him to put on, my heart stopped a little bit and when the anesthesiologist arrived I wasn’t hearing anything anymore. I saw his mouth moving but was only focused at staring at my little boy, who was shirtless because he refused the “baby shirt” cause he is a big boy. I cried. Then when the Dr came in, I could feel the tears well up again and there I went crying again, and as they wheeled him away, and he was being a brave big boy taking a ride on the bed, I cried some more as I waved and told him I would see him soon. I prayed more than I ever have in my entire life and enlisted an entire crew to pray with me. Surgery was a success and in fifteen minutes I was again holding my precious baby, who was angry and confused as to what just happened to him I just held and rocked him thanking the Dr, who told me not to thank him yet that I still had a full 10 days of recovery ahead of me… all I could think was I don’t care how long recovery is, as long as he is here, with me. I thanked God, I told Matthew I loved him, thanked God some more and then took a breath. The first full breath in a month, I felt like I had been knocked out, and could finally get some rest.

TO my Matthew, light of my life, joy of my day, smile when I think of you , cry when I miss you, tear when you ache and cheer when you're excited. I wish for you that this is the last surgery you have. You are a strong boy with a hard head. I hope you grow up to be more than I could imagine. I hope you are as handsome as you are currently cute but that you aren’t conceited and that you are kind to all. I hope you have a musical talent and an athletic prowess. I hope you find the love of your life later in life so that you can be the man you are meant to be without feeling torn. I hope you aspire to help others, in whatever fashion and that you still come home from time to time to watch movies and make cookies with your mom and that you take an interest in the classic cars with your dad. I hope that you feel all the love that is showered on you daily, not just by me but by your entire family and extended family. I want you to stay little forever in my arms but just as much I can’t wait to see who you turn out to be because I know he is going to be amazing.

Wish List Wednesday

Here is what I am swooning over this week.
Babies.
Perhaps swooning isn’t the right word is as obsessing.
I want another child undoubtedly but in the meantime I will  swoon over these photos of these children.
How cute are they?!?!

I want to eat them ALL up

Wish List Wednesday

I am going to implement a series on the blog to share my wants for the week which are ever changing and if my husband is ever stumped on what to gift me with he can come here but also to help inspire you all with beautiful things I come across and different ways they can be used. And in turn you can help me, if you see something on my Wish List and know of a good deal, let me know! (Now I know today is Tuesday but i started this last Wednesday and the photos didn't come through, so i wanted to show you last weeks and continue tomorrow)

I need this credenza/desk; It was featured in ELLE décor magazine and also on HGTVs blog. I love the turquoise color, peacockesque if you will.

Here is another version

And yet another version with a cool acrylic chair and well placed mirrors

And here is yet another, respectively priced item I just found on Craigslist that I think I am going to pick up this weekend and play around with for my guest room/ new office space

It has the Queen Ann legs that the above three have and I can add a piece of glass or Plexiglas to the top after I repaint it to add some workspace to the top. It has one drawer for my needs to function as a desk for my laptop, which I need so that my son can’t stick up the mouse anymore while trying to load his Scooby Doo movies.


One more thing on the wish list (for now) is a Garden Stool

I just love the way they look and there is something that makes them feel elegant yet fun at the same time. Could be used as a side table, an extra seat or just something pretty to look at and hope your son doesn’t break it with his Buzz Lightyear

Diet Log Day 3-8

Day 3-8
Well today I was locked out of the jelly bean and mini chocolate lovers dream offices, so that is a good thing.
I was fairly good over the weekend, I mean there were TONS of goodies to be had and I didn't partake in ALL of them.

I refrained from any alcohol, I ate one half of a half of a cupcake, I did eat a lemon bar, which is odd since I'm not all that big a fan of lemon. I drank soda, killer, but the max was 2 and that was on Friday and that is because Mike shocked me and we went out to lunch. I can't say that I worked out all the much either, unless the stairs in the house count because I was up and down them all weekend. And if chasing a 3 year old counts then I am golden on the cardio.

So here is my food log, go ahead, scoff.

Just a little side note, I used to keep a food log and bring it to my trainer weekly for his dose of wtf are you eating or the occasional that a girl, when I feel off the wagon I would write those entries in size 2 font, to keep it real, I didn't lie but it was so small that he couldn't read it. Eventually the magnifier came out.

CRAP- the list of food wont open, I swear I have it, I'll add to it and upload it tomorrow

oh and since I failed at taking any before pictures of the cuteness outside for the kids here is what inspired me

Bunny ear cupcakes

Rice Krispie treat eggs

My BFF

This is me and my Bff

She is the greatest.

Today I got a long awaited package in the mail. She told me two weeks ago, on my 31st birthday, that a gift was on its way but to tide me over she had sent me another package to open On my birthday!



Peacock note cards!

 Duh!! I love them. They might be too pretty to use. I adore all things peacock--- thank you Ashley.

Then a long tortuous two weeks passed with no clue what was to greet me except a random text message after I was complaining about random things:
    Just know that ur gift will lvoe you unconditionally and doesn't discriminate on size. Its made espcly with you in mind :)
Of course I ask:
    Is it a puppy?
Lol Good guess.
    Is it a painted hermit crab?
    Is it a peacock painting?
    Is it a baby?
um no to all three but may have something to do with the last one!

WHAT? I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS!

Alas my package arrives and my husband calls to tell me he accidently opened it thinking it was for Matthew. Hrmph.

So I get home to an opened package and see this after tearing away some tissue paper

Now Im very intrigued


So I open it up slowly as to not rip the packing and this was in it

The sweetest necklace with Matthew, M&M and Est 05...couldn't have been more thoughtful, except she was! Ashley also included another long blank panel to be stamped when we DO eventually have another child.
Tissues anyone?

Here's an upclose

  I just wanted to publicly thank her for the most thoughtful gift Ive recieved in a long time. Now all she has to do is come visit, no pressure. Did I mention that we are having an Easter BBQ this weekend?

Similarities

While looking through some photo sites I came across a photo of a baby on a 'coloring blanket' I got a box of goodies in the mail yesterday containing my 'coloring blanket' from when I was little. My mom knew just how to wrap my baby doll, Abigail Ashley, in it with one of those old Goody ball hair ties and it had to be done each night. She would carefully swaddle Abigail and then secure the blanket with the hair tie and would do so, probably a minimum of 3 times a night before I could fall asleep.




On The Tree Top Photography


Matthew got his first bloody nose yesterday at school, roughhousing with another kid- he ran into the wall. On the same note Mike did the same thing when he was little except he was running from his brother and it was a dumpster and he cut his eye brow but you know essentially the same thing ...  ( I will repost photos)

I need a rug for the downstairs living room, not that we have two, but the downstairs is more the formal area and the upstairs bonus room is where we live and watch tv. SO that said I need to pick between two crazy yet equally fun and elegant rugs. Can you help? We have dark hardwood floors, and antique/traditional wood furniture with updated upholstery to tie in new and old. My mom thinks I am crazy for the sheepskin because in the winter when we make fires she thinks the soot and ash will make it dirty and that will aggravate me, she must have  me confused with some anal retentive hyper active house cleaner. I love the colorful rug from Antrhopolgie but since there isn't one close by I can't see the actual colors and I have having to pay for return shipping if it didn't work out. Thoughts?

And Again I have two very different ideas for the guest room which I am going to turn into a guest slash  office so I can build a craft empire.

Here are the ideas- both stolen of course.

The first one is great because its set up just like our room now, the window placement etc. So I would just have to convince Mike that he needs to build me this insane built in. The second option is more serene and I could get a trundle bed for the guests and keep the linens and walls simple and bring in color with all my fun accessories and love for all things peacock. Thoughts?


I am going to post a before and after of the hallway Mike just finished for me and some other of the house thus far. I just have to search for the befores, I know I have them.

Diet log day 2

Here is todays diet log-- I caved after a monster morning struggling with Matthew to get out the door and got myself a Starbucks BUT I said no whip! I also read that Caffe Americano are okay for your diet so I might start those if I so choose, hello they are only 10 calories for a tall. But what worked for me in the past was to stick to one caffeine pill in the morning instead of the coffee, and per my old trainer, whom I call Gunter but shall remain nameless told me was my best bet. But if I ever see the Espresso Truffle back on their menu, mama is gonna get her self a Venti, I won't even pretend otherwise.

Food was same as yesterday except the no whip on the mocha and for dinner I am having a chicken brocolli casserole from the Flat Belly Diet Family cookbook and I had a yogurt and fresh pineapple after lunch. On the plus I did not order an Ameretto Mocha coffee whilst driving a co-worker through the drive thru at Liquid Hwy (SCORE ME) AND I did not venture in to my other co-workers area where he stores snickers and reese's cups, not the minis either, the real deals. Hi five on the self restraint!

So as my reward I need a skirt, a  blue polka dot skirt.... know where I might find her?

And, I came across this recipe that I am going to try this weekend for Easter breakfast for the family. I Know its not on the diet plan but you DO have to build in a splurge, even on day 7 of said diet. Right?

Compliments of http://beautyandbedlam.com/

Stuffed French Toast Casserole with Fruit
10 slices firm bread, cubed
8 ounces of cream cheese, cubed or softened (depending on your preference, you may use up to 16 ounces)
10 – 12 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup of syrup
2 cups of milk (or mixture of half and half, cream and milk equaling two cups)
Fruit, your preference – strawberries, peaches, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries etc.
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla
Butter 9×13 baking dish. Layer half of bread slices or cubed pieces. Cover with cream cheese, either by spreading on bread slices or layering cubed cream cheese pieces, and then layer your choice of fruit. Have fun with the fruit choices. I have used a mixture of every fruit imaginable. Cover with remaining bread. Blend eggs, milk, syrup, cinnamon and vanilla, and pour over bread; cover and refrigerate overnight. Preheat oven, and bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes to one hour.
You're welcome.